


Scylla and Charybdis

by Carbon65



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 09:33:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5492312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carbon65/pseuds/Carbon65
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carter claims you’re the reincarnation of Chayara, and you just have to remember. It’s not that you just have to remember, you remember already. It’s that you’re not sure you are the woman Carter says you are. You’re not sure you want to be that long dead Egyptian priestess woman who Carter - Khufu - remembers. Maybe you were that woman once upon a time, a few hundred lifetimes ago.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>It's not easy when the guy you're dating helps you find the guy who's supposed to be your eternal soul mate.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Scylla and Charybdis

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be for my HC bingo. But, real life sort of slapped me upside the head. And then continued to do so. I think this is the first fiction I've written in months. ...The whole academic end note thing might have bleed in.
> 
> Originally for the prompt "Forbidden Love", but I don't think it really fit.
> 
> Not beta'd.

When you’re a child, they tell you that you can be anyone you want. You can grow up to be a firefighter, a librarian, even the President of the United States1. When you were four, you said you wanted to grow up to be a giraffe. They smiled. They laughed. Somehow, _that_ was okay. You could grow up to be a different species, and long as you grow up to be you.

You might have lied when you told Cisco you were drawn to Central City. Well, not lied. Stretched the truth. You were... it was the place you needed to be. Something spoke, whispering in your ear, and telling you to go.  
You come from what would be described as a city there, but it was really a small town. Not so small that everyone knows you, but small enough. You’d always dreamed of moving to a real city - Gotham, or Capitol City, maybe. You wanted a city where you could blend in, and no one knew who or what you were. You dreamed about, being anonymous and hidden. But, they would have stayed dreams if it wasn’t for the _other_ thing that happened. The _other_ thing was an accident. 3. 

Central City isn’t so bad. It’s not like you imagined cities when you were a child, but it’s not so bad. You stayed with your friend for a few days, and then you found a place that’s livable.4 You work two part time jobs, and barely make ends meet. You don’t have enough money to put anything away in savings, but you also aren’t going any deeper into debt. You know you should be more careful with your money, that you’re one emergency away from being wiped away, but you don’t know how to stretch your budget any thinner. You don’t expect Cisco Ramone, of all people, to be the one who brings the emergency to your doorstep.5

And, thanks to Cisco, you traveled the miles to Star City in the northwest, where it always rains and no one knows how to drive. You flee because you’re afraid. You would have died if it wasn’t for Cisco and the Flash.6 You still might die, despite the combined best efforts of two groups of semi-vigilantes. You don’t really want to die.  
But, you also don’t want to feel trapped anymore. You’re in a city where you’ve never been, the kind of city that has been falling apart and being rebuilt for the better part of three years. There are parts of Star City you wouldn’t walk through alone, in broad daylight, with no murder on your tail. And, now, you’re in one of those parts well after dark. Everyone else here seems to have someone. They work together in their teams, passing information and sharing inside jokes. You feel left out, lost, alone, and stifled by the constant present of _people_ who are not _your_ people.

And then, suddenly, Carter Hall7 is there, too. He claims you’re the reincarnation of Chayara, and you just have to remember. It’s not that you just have to remember, you remember already. It’s that you’re not sure you are the woman Carter says you are. You’re not sure you want to be that long dead Egyptian priestess woman who Carter - Khufu - remembers. Maybe you were that woman once upon a time, a few hundred lifetimes ago. Maybe he loved you _then_. Maybe he’s in love with all the people you have been, maybe he remembers them all. And, maybe he’s forgotten all the men he’s been. 8 He wants you to be the woman he remembers loving. He wants you to be the women he remembers loving. And, you’re not them. And, he’s not sure he sees you now.

It’s Cisco who you run to when you need comfort, and Cisco who helps you find yourself. You feel both safe and excited to spend time with Cisco. You’re afraid of the situation. You’re afraid of losing yourself. You’re intimidated by the gathering of superheroes.9 But, Cisco makes you feel... feel like you can do this. He reminds you of who you are.

...And then, it’s all over. There are shouts and arrows and chains, and uncomfortable push up bra. And then, there’s a pile of ashes on the floor. And... it’s over? You think it’s over.

You and Carter leave Central City. You can’t stay here, anymore. You can’t stand the way Cisco looks at you, like you’ve changed and become a woman he could learn to fit. You can’t stand the way Carter looks at you, like he’ll never change and you need to become a woman who fits him.  
But, destiny and reincarnation and predestination is a bitch, and you’d love to give whoever is responsible for this hand a piece of your mind. You don’t know if Carter loves you, although he love’s in love with the idea of you. You don’t know if you love Carter. You don’t like Carter at all. You _liked_ Cisco, you think.

Mostly, though, you miss yourself. You miss the girl you used to be, once up a time. The naive girl who served coffee. ...Was that really just a few weeks ago? Maybe, one day, you can let yourself be her again.

________________________

1Later they told you that you that you had to be an American Citizen by _birth_ , which lead to an intense discussion with your mother about where you were born.

2You didn’t really live in Dodge, but you might as well have. It’s hard to imagine a town like yours exists in a state neighboring Central City, but there you have it.

3It _really_ was an accident. Unlike the times in past lives when you have beheaded people with no fewer items than a garden hoe, broadsword, and fan. Twice.

4For certain definitions of livable and a $10/hour wage. She has a used mattress she bought off craigslist, and all the furniture in her room was made from milk crates. It’s loud and smoky and when she’s not at work, she hides in her room or the library.

5You can’t really blame Cisco for what happened, but it’s easier to let part of yourself blame him. 

6The Flash, as it turns out, is almost terrifyingly normal. Like, you’re not sure you could pick him out of a crowd beyond his height and good looks. He’s the boy next door, working in a lab somewhere in the city. He’s quiet, occasionally late, and not very convincing. Except when he gets all earnest as total _is_. And then, he’s kind of terrifying.

7You’re not sure you can call him Khufu, or let him keep calling you Chayara. It doesn’t make you remember, it just makes you want to throw up. 

8Well, also that one time, he was a dog. Actually, you think you might prefer a pitbull to Carter-Khufu. 

9And, yes, both the Flash and Green Arrow quality. Even in the sticks, you couldn’t help but hear about the vigilante of Star City.


End file.
